The Smile

STORY

I was sitting in a computer lab at BYU at about 8 at night. THRILLA! After a knock at the door, one of my fellow engineers opened the door for his wife and little 2-year-old daughter. They had come to pick him up, so he took about 20 minutes to finish up what he was doing and then they started to leave.

The desks in this room are 25 ft. long tables, about 3 feet off the ground with about 7 computers on it going down the row. As they left, the little girl walked down the length of the desk to the very end when her father kindly said "Okay, get down." 

She turned around to head for the nearest logical exit - a chair to climb down on - but her dad said "No no..." and picking her, put her right back at the edge of the desk and said "I want you to jump." He was standing a solid 3 feet away with his arms out. As you can imagine, I thought this was a fun exercise. Her father was not being mean in any way - he was just being playful. 

Without a moment of hesitation, she bent her knees, just a little bit, turned her head to the left, and then smiled. (It looked a lot like the smile you see in that picture of her). As she smiled, and without even looking at her dad, she launched herself off the table and into her father's arms. 

In that moment, I imagined some soul somewhere being asked by God to do something that seemed hard, or high risk, or even silly. Metaphorically, I think many of us would say "Naw, I'm aight" or go back to try using the chair again, or just plop down on the desk and begin to cry. Maybe we would stand there afraid with pleading eyes, or pout about having to do this. It just seems like we might throw a fit, and some of us would eventually, with fear, and hesitation, and little screaming, jump. And then later we would probably say "That's when I learned  to trust the Lord." 

While finally submitting is a great thing, what about the smile?!

As I roll out of the troughs of life into the crests and carefully try to find my balance at the peak, I look back at the spot where I fell and rested in that hammock-trough and again realize that God is persuading me to trust him. Over and over, the message is the same - "Trust me."

With this little girl there was no fear, there was no hesitation, there was not even worry.

I would hope for myself that when I am asked to jump off a desk later in life, I will have the trust not only to jump, but to jump with a smile. Therein is the trust.

The Furnace

The Furnace

Erick Hollenbaugh

If from the light we have been made
have we been made for failing?
Should we wincing face a fire
and fear the rising flame?

Is life’s intent to flee all struggle
by petitioning for grace?
How oft to beg the easy way?
How oft to plea and pray

“Please, Take from me this heavy thing.”
or “Why do I feel this pain?”
With hearts all hid from burning,
Do we make our lives in vain?

Should we not plant any fruit in the gardens we are tending?
Is there no canvas to be filled with the colors we are blending?
Can we root the tree and take it in when storms are grayly showing?
And can a ship get sailing wind with men afraid of blowing?

Let us reap!
Let us fill!
Let us grow!
and let us move!

Flee not trials, and do not hide,
But do not fight alone.
The furnaces of life are kept
by the Man who lived in one.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego

The Spark of the Homeless Man

Last Friday I helped a friend move apartments. I had an interesting experience that afternoon.

I had a very nice morning that day. I laughed with my roommates. It's always nice to laugh in the morning. I had time to sleep in a bit and exercise and study the scriptures for a while. Then I found myself helping this very nice girl change apartments - and it was a beautiful day. The air was full of the exciting and anxious emotions that accompany the end of a school year at BYU and the goodbyes and new beginnings that so many people are experiencing. There were people playing in the yard, and sitting on their porches, and having fun together. I was trying to be kind and hoping to make a good impression on this girl. I was pretty occupied in my own little mind about all the awesome things I had, but not really noticing them...

And then... a homeless man walked by.

He must have been around 30 years old. He looked pretty healthy, but had some physical disability because he struggled to walk. He walked right by on the sidewalk by the apartment. As I looked at him at just the right moment so that I saw his long, drawn-out glance toward those people playing in the yard...

I love this man. I instantly loved him. In that glance, it was as if I could see in his eyes that he did not have anyone. He did not have the nice, clean apartment to wake up in that I had. He did not have the breakfast to eat that I had. He did not have good friends to laugh with or a place to move out of or so many mounds belongings that it requires hours and hours to packed and move them. He probably did not have an education as I had received here. He, unlike me, probably did not struggle to decide which clothes to wear to look good. I saw him look over at those people playing in the yard, and I wanted to take him home with me. I wanted to introduce my friends to him, and to give him the Gospel, and make him feel loved, and teach him to care for himself and to be productive and to give him all of the unbelievable opportunities I have had in my life! I wanted so badly to lift that man! But, I just watched him walk away.

Since that moment of seeing truth and reality, those feelings of love were stuck inside me. I took a moment, when I got home, to say a prayer of gratitude. That was a good choice. I watched a few uplifting videos from "The Skit Guys", a christian group that makes inspirational family videos.  I texted my mom and my sister, and I talked on the phone with my brother and a good friend. I had a nice conversation with my roommate.

Then, as I was writing this, I received a call about a car accident. It was about midnight, and my roommate and I were asked to come to the hospital to give a priesthood blessing to our friend and her mother who had been in the accident. Neither were critically injured, but both were in pain. I was so happy to be able to go and help them.

I just felt like this day, for me, was a beautiful experience. And the spark of it was seeing this homeless man. Now, I know that homelessness can be a complicated thing. How full and rich would my life be if I could live with gratitude for th blessings that I enjoy and be filled with love and compassion for those around me.

Can't we all do this better? Can't we all let go of ourselves a little bit? Can't we do more to lift and care for each other? I believe we must, and I believe that we can.