#1 Syndrome

Chalk the Block was happening this week in Provo. Hundreds of artists from the area come to create some incredible chalk art on the parking lot at the Riverwoods shopping mall. It draws a pretty large crowd. I was there with a few friends, and I ran into a lot of people that I knew, and I met a lot of cool people that I didn’t know. It was a social mad house.

Two of the 200 +

I had a nice conversation with one of the girls that I met. She expressed that it was dissatisfying/hard to be required to spend so much time thinking about #1, but that she needed to in this period of her life. I believe that what she meant is that she has to spend time working and studying and dating – things that we typically do to secure happiness for ourselves in the future. It’s a harsh reality..

Sometimes the attitude of “It’s all about me” ink-leaks into our relationships as well. It can be easy to find yourself interacting with your family and endlessly telling them all about the things going on in this “critical time” of your life. When you talk to old friends, you barrage them with your experience at your “cross roads” of life, which is different from a two-way conversation. When you meet new people or socialize in your ward or at parties, you may sense a very pervasive and personal agenda to get something out of it for yourself (or them for themselves). Every interaction can be perverted into an opportunity for personal gain.

If you want to quickly and comprehensively find unhappiness, be selfish in your relationships. Even during this time of life, it is NOT all about us. We can do all things with selfless intent, even if they bring us a brighter future. A prophet said

We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness—be they family members, friends, acquaintances, or strangers.

In every interaction we can give to others and uplift others. Sometimes the contribution we can make to their life will be extremely small, and often imperceptible to both parties. Sometimes it will be more clear. Even with strangers. Even at parties. Even though we feel the crazy urge to use people to ensure our happiness. To all those who feel like they have experienced these selfish patterns: good luck getting your heart in check. I know it's been one heck of battle for me.