To be read slowly
Some nights
the cool of my pillow is a soft sand
And the blankets are just blankets
And my thoughts are the stars
And the stars are the peepholes to heaven.
Yes, my thoughts are the billion-billions of stars
Because I think about God
And my heart.
And the truth is a warm, red, rising sun.
And the truth is that I am known.
And when I put my hands on the sky
and my cheek against it to look through,
I see people,
and they are so beautiful.
Friday, November 7, 2014
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Social Butterfly
Hi. My name is Erick, and I'm a social butterfly...
All: "Hi Erick."
All: "Hi Erick."
I live in perhaps one of the most social cities in the world. I've been to hundreds of social gatherings and met thousands of people. Through all of those parties and all of those hours, I have developed a few curiosities. I understand that explaining my thought processes will likely expose some weakness of mind and heart.
Why do we socialize?
Let's make an important amendment to this question: Why do single people socialize? Either we're looking to meet someone, we want to have a good time and maybe meet someone, or we want to have a good time and aren't really interested in meeting anyone. Think this is too narrowly pointed toward "meeting someone"? Then riddle me this: How many people do you see at social events who have a significant other? If you were able to think of anyone, how many of them feel obligated to be at those events? I'm not trying to be pessimistic - this is just the curiosity. Is our primary motive for socializing, as single people, to find someone to date?
Now, I would argue that there are times and circumstances in which this is not true, and in most of these cases there is a degree of selflessness associated with the interaction. (And let's not forgetting socializing in pure recreation.) There are times when I like to just go to lunch with an old friend, guy or girl, just because I like spending time with them. But what is my hope? My hope is that it is worthwhile to them as well - that they can enjoy themselves, and feel valued and encouraged.
What is the value, or purpose, of socializing and how do we get more of it?
I wonder if I'm missing something. I wonder if I have just gotten it all wrong - maybe I shouldn't go to a group hike or chili cook off or tail gate party or dance party or dessert party or whatever else to "meet" someone.
Now, I do love to meet people (even excluding attraction or interest) (I think...?), but I don't always feel interested in who they are. Isn't that a little strange? Isn't that ironic? Sometimes I think I want to meet people in order to create an image and impression of myself in their minds which impression, when manifest, validates and compliments me the ways I desire. That's pretty messed up.
On occasion I have taken the time to sincerely get to know someone. Can I tell you something? I have never regretted that. I have made great friends, real friends, because of ONE conversation in which we sincerely conversed about our lives. Herein is the value of socializing - that you can learn from the examples and lives of those around you, personally rejoice in their successes, and to support, encourage, and help them somehow - to make them happy. I mean, don't we really care about them, and can't we express that care? If you want to get more out of your social life, stop trying to use it for selfish reasons.
Why do socialites typically stop socializing when they have a significant other?
I'm not accusing anyone. Whenever I date someone, my social life goes down the tubes. At least in my circles, your married friends die socially. And it's a slow death. Everyone knows this. It begins from the first weeks of dating and continues to decrease until the wedding day. Why? Well, there is no PURPOSE in socializing anymore - and anyway, single people just don't understand married people very well.. (puh.Leaze.)
Do we have some kind of complex that assures us of someone's care when they begin to leave everyone else out of their life for us? Maybe that's extreme. I'm not proposing that anyone should have friendships in which their spouse plays no role... but do we really need to disconnect from everyone? I think it would be a beautiful, powerful thing for a companionship, especially husband and wife, to act AS ONE socially. If they were to adopt a selfless purpose, they could have a wonderful influence on their married and single friends. I think that a courtship and marriage would be strengthened by selfless sociality. Their friends would be strengthened as well. It's a shame we struggle so much with this.
End
I have the goal to be social while courting and in marriage together with my spouse, but for now I will go on practicing and learning to socialize. I can see divine purposes in it.
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